The Art of Vulnerability

  What ways can we develop our capacity to be with the truth of what is, to be with the fear, joy, guilt, discomfort and softness that comes with the human experience? 

  Each piece in this series will be about exploring  & unraveling the layers of our minds and connecting with our selves, one moment at a time.

 

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Spiritual Bypassing & The Art of Vulnerability

Even our spiritual practices and beliefs can be used to add to our sense of denial and defense.

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A spiritual bypass is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks".
~J. Welwood

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"Spiritual bypass shields us from the truth, it disconnects us from our feelings, and helps us avoid the big picture. It is more about checking out than checking in—and the difference is so subtle that we usually don't even know we are doing it.
The shorthand for spiritual bypass is grasping rather than gratitude, arriving rather than being, avoiding rather than accepting. It is spiritual practice in the service of repression, usually because we can not tolerate what we are feeling, or think that we shouldn't be experiencing what we are feeling."* 

 

*From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/…/2…/beware-spiritual-bypass

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Reaction Formation & The Art of Vulnerability

  

 Reaction Formation occurs when a person feels an urge to do or say something and then actually does or says something that is effectively the opposite of what they really want.

 It also appears as a defense against a feared social punishment. If I fear that I will be criticized for something, I very visibly act in a way that shows I am personally a long way from the feared position.

 A common pattern in Reaction Formation is where the person uses ‘excessive behavior’, for example using exaggerated friendliness when the person is actually feeling unfriendly.*

*From: http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/coping/reaction_formation.htm

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The Fragmented Self & The Art of Vulnerability

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Related Musings from 2015

Psychological Escapism For The Experienced Daydreamer

  Perhaps it is not what one is searching for that one could contemplate over for greater joy and self-knowledge, but what one is avoiding. Accepting the fact that unpleasant feelings (those things I tend to avoid) are hardwired into being human helped develop my capacity to be with the undesirable moments in life and not wander off subconsciously into fantasy land, a place I have been to many times. Reminding myself within such moments that emotions and thoughts, like moments, are transient, and quite beautiful each in their own way, has also eased the inquietude of certain points in time.

  Within a joyful moment it requires very little effort to notice and observe the pleasing effects this state has on myself. Within a moment filled with fear and/or sadness it can be a bit more difficult to see the beauty of such emotions, but its there. The power these emotions have on my entire being fascinates me almost every time I am experiencing one of them. From the change in thought patterns, to the intense physical sensations, to the transformation of my perspective on people, places and things, remaining present to observe and experience these once overbearing feelings has become an engaging and amiable reality. I want to say a lesson in the self within each moment but that’s a tad banal for this posting. A genuine connection to ones life sounds better.

  All of these sensations and neurological systems (and so much more) within one delicate human, its too amazing not to be awestricken. What kind of world would we live in if all people had, or chose to develop, the capacity to be with fear, sadness and anger?
I will remind myself of this post the next time I have trouble sensing the beauty in a painful moment.